Consult a Professional Mourner…

madam tv on her day off
[Madam TV on her day off. When “on duty” she looks a bit more demented than this…]

If you can’t make it to Fremantle for the launch of the Bon Scott show, why not speak to Bon on the phone through “Madam TV”?

“Madam TV” is one of the artists in the exhibition. She describes herself as a “professional mourner“, and she specialises in facilitating discussions between our world and the other side.

I went to visit Madam TV at her flat in the suburbs of Perth last week, to ask her about this business of speaking to Bon. As you can imagine, I had a few questions for her.

Question: Madam TV, what’s involved with this “channelling of the dead?”
Answer: I go into a kind of trance. This sometimes occurs after a couple of bourbons and some frenetic dancing to some very loud music. If the conditions are right, I might begin to feel Bon hovering around.

Question: What’s Bon been up to lately?
Answer: He is surprisingly gregarious and happy to chat. The last time he showed up, he was very horny, not having had any action for over 28 years. So his conversations were cheeky and flirtatious… Boys, bring your girlfriends along and get em to speak with Bon. After a few minutes with him they’ll be all worked up and you’re sure to have a good night! He he.

Question: So you’re saying I should use Bon as an aphrodisiac for my own sex life?
Answer: Yeh, but not only! Bon is usually happy to chat about whatever’s on your mind. But remember his attention span isn’t what it used to be. There are a lot of distractions up there (out there? down there? whereever he is!) and so it’s best if you come with a question or a topic of discussion you want to get stuck into.

Question: How long does Bon like to chat?
Answer: He averages about 5 minutes before his attention drifts off onto other things. But if you strike up a particularly engaging conversation, it could last longer!

Question: When will Madam TV be available to channel Bon?
Answer: Friday 16 May 2008, from 6:30pm to 3:30am Perth time. This incredibly late time frame is for two reasons: first, because after midnight is the best time for a chat with the old fella. Second, to allow international callers to call at a time which is good for them. To check your local times against the time in Perth, go here.

Question: How do I call? How much will it cost me?
: It depends where you’re calling from. If you go along to the launch of the Bon Scott Exhibition, try to find my Madam TV cronies, who will be circulating in the crowd with a video phone you can use to call me for free! If you are calling from your own phone, you can either make a video call (if your phone is that way inclined) or a regular voice call. For Aussie callers: if you’re on the “3” network it will be cheaper. For international callers: it’s hard to predict the exact cost, but it shouldn’t be extravagantly expensive to speak for only a few minutes. And besides, a conversation with Bon is priceless!

: So what’s the number to call?
: from Australia: 0433 466 709.
From the rest of the world: +61 433 466 709

3 thoughts on “Consult a Professional Mourner…”

  1. Sounds like Bon did send Ben something….

    I do hope others who spoke to the professional mourner relate their conversations, or the gist of them that is. It’d be a hoot, I’m sure.


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